I had a painfully traumatic experience. This may be too traumatic to tell you about. You may be too young to hear about such a trauma as this.
But, of course, I will tell you. First some background I must quickly give you.
There are Yiddish stories written down by Isaac Bashevis Singer about people from a land called Chelm. The people in Chelm are good caring people, but they don’t quite grasp things. If you are told someone comes from Chelm, you know right away that person isn’t very smart. The solutions that people from Chelm come up with don't work. Finally, it is the Wise Elder of Chelm who comes up with a solution that is laughable, but it works!
Here’s a quick run-down of what I mean:
A prospective bridegroom from Chelm had to travel a distance to see his prospective bride who lived on the outskirts of Chelm. His future in-laws kept giving their future son-in-law presents. Note that the future son-in-law’s name was Schlemiel. Schlemiel loved the gifts, but when he reached home in his little horse and cart, the gift was either broken or lost.
For instance, he was given a coin that he put in the straw in his cart. When he got home, he couldn’t find the coin. The next time he visited his future bride, the girl’s father asked Schlemiel about the coin, and Schlemiel confessed he had lost it. The girl’s father asked him how he lost it, and Schlemiel told him he had put the coin in the straw.
The father said:
You should have put the coin in your pocket.
As Schlemiel was leaving, the father gave him a fresh egg, which, carefully, Schlemiel put in his pocket.
And so the story goes on like this. It goes on and on this backward way until the whole family goes to the Wise Elder of Chelm for advice. After much thought and head-scratching, the Wise Elder of Chelm tells the young couple:
You must get married right away so that Schlemiel doesn’t have to travel to visit his bride any more!
And everyone is happy.
I tell you this story so you are prepared for the story of my trauma.
This beautiful beach house I’m privileged to stay in is perfect in every way except that everything was made for giantly tall people. There is not a hook I can reach. The too high objects also include mirrors made for 7-foot tall people. All that I can see in the mirror anywhere in this house is an inch or two of the top of my head. If I stand on tiptoe, I can get a glimpse of my eyes for a moment. For as long as I have been staying here, I haven’t seen myself in a mirror except in passing at a store.
Finally, Heaven Admin and I picked up a mirror tile at a store called Games, similar to Walmart, to put under the existing mirror so I can see what I look like.
Heaven Admin attached the mirror to the wall for me and then left me to admire myself.
In a few moments I ran out screaming.
I dashed into his office.
Something is the matter with this mirror. We have to return it!
Knowing me, he kept working.
But his inattention doesn’t stop me.
THERE’S REALLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT!
Still no response.
Then I said to him in my painfully puzzled voice:
Every time I look in the mirror, there’s some old lady there! What is she doing there! How did she get there!
Without looking up, Heaven Admin said mildly:
Stay away from the mirror.
I scratched my head for a while. I don't have it figured out, but I did wonder:
Am I from Chelm? And can Heaven Admin be the Wise Elder of Chelm?