This morning I received someone's new email address, and I deleted the old address in the data base and copied/pasted in the new email address. Then I sent a note to the person at the new address, letting her know that her Heavenletters™ would now be coming to her new address.
I would never ever want someone who wants Heavenletters to not have them. Yet I am feeling inordinately responsible about this. This is no way to live life, agonizing over something that you did your best with and now can't do anything about but wait to hear from the lady again. Why would I take this so hard?
I can't tell you the times I moan over something I said that I wish I had not said or done or wish I had said or done differently etc. In this present case, it would be a good idea to always keep someone's former email address. I can tell you, though, that over so many years, this is the first time a new email address has not worked, and I still seem unable to stop feeling terrible about it. You would think I had committed a grave sin.
Well, listen to this: The new Heavenletter written down this morning is on this very subject! I had just written down the Heavenletter that says to put an end to self-criticism, and here I was doing that very thing and doing it royally, as if I were a scoundrel for making a mistake.
Lessons sure come to me fast these days. This morning God said:
It is a great gift to love, and I insist that you love yourself. Love yourself through thick and thin.
You are learning. You are here on Earth to learn to see yourself as I do see you. If you have a fault, it is that you are a growing learning Human Being. Foremost, love yourself.
Off with the flaws. On with the blessings.
A punishment is supposed to fit the crime. If this were a case in front of a court, what court would find me guilty of anything? And, even if they did, what fine would the court impose? A warning? And, yet, here I am with an exaggerated sense of guilt. You would think I had beaten someone up. This overreaction has got to stop.
It seems to me that way back when I took a psychology course, there was a name for an overweaning conscience. It might have been Super Conscience, but I looked Super Conscience up on Google just now, and Super Conscience does mean an overblown conscience.
I don't suppose it matters where this trait in me comes from. What matters is that I don't do this anymore. I would love to be done with this.
May the determination and the desire to be free of this excessive emotion be enough to do the trick. God really did help me to see this fully. Now, the cure.