The other day I was going to post a blog. I was carefreely typing it up. Had finished actually, and, then, the strong feeling came over me that it was better not to post that blog entry.
Afterward, I referred to this feeling as a signal.
More often I have experienced this "signal" after I have done something I wish I hadn't. Maybe even as soon as I've done it or said it or whatever, it's almost a blush that comes over me, and I know it would have been better if I hadn't whatever it was. Perhaps I said a stupid thing. I might have unthinkingly hurt someone's feelings. In any case, I wish I hadn't said it. If only I had thought.
In this particular instance, almost like a darkness, that feeling came over me beforehand. I didn't hear any words, yet it was as if I had heard: "Don't do it. Don't publish this joke. Don't do it." It was very clear. There was no missing it.
I wanted to publish that blog. The whole thing was already written. What harm can a joke do etc. etc. But there it was, the message loud and clear (without a sound.) It was a dark feeling like a shadow sort of. It was like a clunk. My heart fell. It was a lower vibration. The heart went out of me.
It was clear to me that if I did post that blog entry, I would be sorry. This feeling to delete the joke had nothing to do with fear, however. At that point, I didn't have a choice. I couldn't post it. Horses couldn't have made me post it.
Anything I say after that point is conjecture. I can only guess why. It doesn't really matter why. I don't have to know the reason or reasons. Now I knew better. I believe posting that would have struck the wrong note for this blog.
This blog simply isn't the place for it. Yes, it was only a joke. Yes, it had the right ending. Yet, next to God, all jokes are flat. Why had I thought of it in the first place? Well, someone had sent me the joke. It was short. I had just read it. And it would be the blog entry for that day, and I would be done. I wouldn't have to think of something else to write about. It was a quick and easy for me.
It just occurs to me that I had perhaps thought it was clever of me. For a moment, the one telling a joke knows something the others don't yet know.
I am sure what stopped me was never meant to be an indictment against laughter.
Maybe a joke, a canned joke, is always at someone's expense, and I mustn't do that, especially through this blog. In this case, the joke was on scientists. The scientists thought they were smart, but they got their comeuppance.
This blog isn't meant to be my personal toy. It's not anything goes. I have some responsibility.
Now I can wonder how I even conned myself in the first place with the idea that it was okay for me to post a flippant joke here. Sense of humor is one thing. A joke is another.
You know, I wish everything in life were as clear to me as this was. Then it would be easy for me to make decisions. which, very often, it is not.
Indian Ocean Report
Moderately sparkling and shimmering. Very steady. Solid serene ocean. If the ocean tells fortunes, this is a day of calm throughout the world. A Heavenletter is coming up fairly soon in which God says: "Steady, steady are the rudders of life." The ocean makes me think of that Heavenletter.