5 languages of love
Lauren, my daughter, comes across so many interesting things. This book, written by a marriage counselor, tells about what expressions of love may mean the most to us. We all like all of them, of course, yet there are some of the five languages of love that mean the most to us personally. Someone may truly love us, and yet we may be starved for certain expressions of this love.
Here are the 5 languages the author gives:
• Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.
(I think of Words of Affirmation as sweet talk! And, oh, how I love it.)
• Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention.
(Look into my eyes!)
• Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.
(Don't spend too much.)
• Acts of Service
The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”
(Yes, yes!)
• Touch
Physical presence and accessibility: "I'm here for you."
(I think touch and accessibility are two different things.)
I took the test that is on the web site. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/
I thought I would come out the highest on Words of Affirmation That is what I would have thought affects me the most. Now I'm not so sure.
The one I actually came out top on was Quality Time. Of course, I do love it. Wow, undivided attention. More, more!
The one I would have thought would come before even Quality time is Acts of Service. Gosh, when someone helps with Heavenletters™, I love them forever.
Touch and gifts came out last for me.
How much of all this is ego, I wonder. "I need, I need." I am talking about myself, you understand.
I would do better to think what can I give more of to someone. It has to be better to need less and give more. I would love to be in that place.
Sometimes we can love others best just by allowing them their own space, letting them be, and not needing their love expressed so much, do you agree?
Comments
Yes, I definitely do agree with this: "Sometimes we can love others best just by allowing them their own space, letting them be, and not NEEDING their love expressed so much, do you agree?" Whenever we are feeling predominately our own neediness, we are not living from the fullness of God's love. Understanding another's love language is, I think, best understood not as meeting needs so much as it is from fullness of love giving the gift of love in the form it will be best appreciated by our beloved. Just like no matter how much we may love chocolate, we don't insist on giving chocolate to our dear friend who really really loves pistachio nuts.
Well, it has come to this! I can no longer get into the blog to post a blog. I promised you a blog entry every day. They are written, yet I am not allowed to post!
I just discovered I can comment -- I believe I can -- so that's the best I can do right now. Heaven Admin is working on it.
Beloved mw, I was drawn to posting my comment here under yours. I think you are so right.
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION is vital to feeling connected. A quarter century ago couples gathered in order to support the partner who had "chemical sensitivities" (once called the 20th Century disease, or multiple chemical intolerances). One partner was ill; the other was "normal". A task was given to the group, to LISTEN WITH UNDIVIDED ATTENTION to their partner for five minutes, then to switch roles. I broke down and cried, because it seemed I had never had my husband's attention. Last night, buying groceries, it turned out my husband had no money to pay for them and walked away from the checkout, leaving me to use my credit card. He was 50 feet away from me as I paid for our groceries, and my heart hurt, for I did not want to follow him, go with him. Nothing changes, except the stubborn EGO in me that has wanted to do better and be better. That is why I returned to him, determined to show LOVE better. It has not been successful within me, for I find I am creating UN-love in me.
Ah. You bring up so many basic issues. And you are so honest and perceptive.
What does loving ourselves mean?
Years ago God wrote a Heavenletter in which, as I remember, was not supportive of sacrifice. Jochen, can you find it?
God bless you, dear Anonymous.
Love, Gloria