A Personal Question from a GP in London

This is a personal question from Nancy to God and God's answer through Heavenletters™.

Nancy asked her question on April 7, 2008. It is reprinted here with Nancy's permission, of course. There is a follow up question and answer that will be shared here later as well.

I don't know how God's answers come through me, but I certainly do know how blessed I am to write God's personal responses to the beautiful souls who ask.  Through this privileged aspect of Godwriting™, I learn again and again how beautiful and amazing people are. It is easy to really know people when they are pouring their hearts out to God.

Here is Nancy's question, followed by God's answer:

Nancy to God:

Dear God, please help me out here. I am going up and down and round and round like I'm on a merry go round and can’t get off.

Last night for the first time I had crushing chest pain that actually kept me awake it was so bad. I also have a new pain under my right arm which I presume is due to diseased lymph nodes pressing on nerves.

I think my problem is one of attachment but no doubt you will tell me if I am wrong. I just don’t know how to detach. I think I am so attached to my desire to be free of the breast cancer that I think I am welding it onto myself, but is it so unreasonable to want to be free of it ?! I know I need to let go but how?

I have come a long way in the last 4 years and I know that you know that, just how do I get over this last hurdle because it is killing me.

I am sure you remember the first time I was really aware of you it was 2 years ago and I was relaxing in the bath, I must have been meditating without realizing what I was doing. Well I had a sudden knowing that I was going to be ok, and then with this sure knowledge I thought WOW I am going to be able to help so many people now with what I have experienced. I was having chemo at the time and the tumour miraculously disappeared. Of course, I thought the chemo had healed me. It was too much to think it was a miracle then but I have had the same drug since without that effect so something was different then.

However even with this knowledge I am finding it impossible to stay in that place of knowing but I presume that must be the key. Then if one knows one is going to be ok then one can detach and get on with better things. I keep searching for this blissful knowing state again and again perhaps I am attached to the desire to feel like that again. I feel tortured and crushed by the circular thoughts. Please help me let them go, detach and trust and get on with my life. Please show me/tell me how. I love my life. I have a wonderful husband and 2 gorgeous children for me to love and nurture. I am a GP and therefore find myself in the most amazingly fantastic place to be able to use my new found healing abilities through you.  I promise you I count my blessings every day and of course you know they are huge . I have so much love to give it would be such a terrible waste if I passed on to my next life when I still have so much to give in this one.

I have learned from A Course in Miracles which I know You wrote too that my will is your will because we are one [this knowledge helps quite  a lot!] so what am I doing wrong, is it the attachment? I should say as I have reread this it sounds pleading which I know is not the place to be.  I should be thanking you for my healing not asking for it. My passion is for healing others but I need to heal myself properly first.

THANK YOU in anticipation

all my love Nancy x

God to Nancy,

Most beloved Nancy, I am so glad you wrote to me and asked Me to ease your beautiful heart.  You are always to feel free to ask Me anything that is in your heart. Truly, beloved child, when it comes to Me, there are no shoulds. You should be exactly as you are. You tell yourself you seem to be lacking or misplaced in certain ways, but that is not even you speaking, beloved. That is an accumulation of learned ideas and judgments from the world at large. Don’t put so much stake in what the world says. It is, after all, only the world. What should be is what is. Rather, there are no should be’s. There may be things that make your life in the world easier, but that is illusion as well. What you are to give up is trying so hard, beloved Nancy.

What you are guilty of, beloved, if you were guilty of anything, is to be a Human Being in a Human body.

Certainly, it would be nice to have no thoughts and worries about pain and possible meanings and repercussions. Certainly, it would be nice to have no worries at all. Meanwhile, each soul on Earth lives with the worry and fear and pain of diverse kinds she knows as best as she can. You don’t have to “do better” than you are right now. What if you really are perfect right now, My beloved Nancy. Or what if you are imperfect!

Listening to the world creates tension. You do have a certain amount of worry and pain, and you tell yourself in no uncertain terms that you should not, that you have failed somehow, and that you have to do differently. Certainly you set yourself up to a hard task. Beloved, will you consider that maybe you are already just right? that you are already the perfect Nancy child of Mine?

Yes, beloved, you are attached. So what? You are attached to your physical body in a physical world. You associate yourself with your body and cannot fathom being without it. You feel you must have your body, as if your body were you, as if your body really has all that much to do with you. Your body is on loan for a certain length of time, and no one knows how long nor what journey their body will take.

Your body carries you around on Earth. The you that your body carries is of enormous significance. The body itself is just a car or a cart. The body you are in is precious to you, and it is precious to your family and to everyone in your life. All on Earth live under the same illusions, beloved.  You know all this.

You are attached to the idea that you must not have an illness. You are attached to the idea that you are to gain a victory over illness. You are attached to the idea that you must keep your body for as long as possible. You are convinced that without your body, you will have gone backwards rather than progressed forward. If you could let go of your ideas, would you? Would you if you could?

You are attached to the idea that you are to keep your body as long as possible, as if your life depends on it. This is the dilemma of being in a Human body on Earth.

For a while, take a deep breath and let it be all right that an illness co-habits with you. The illness may be a roommate, but it does not have to be a roommate you have to kick out. It may well leave of its own accord. Naturally, you prefer not to live with the roommate of illness.

You are very determined, and determination is one of your great strengths. Let effortless also be one of your strengths.

In your body or out, you are going to do good for the world and heal many. Your ability to heal is not dependent upon your body. Your life does not end when the body does. Your real life is not dependent upon the body at all.

This is really not a contest between your will and the body’s will. You can co-exist. This is not an issue of win or lose. It is not a tug of war between you and illness.

I predict you will have a long and healthy inspired life, and I also tell you that it doesn’t really matter. You are free in either case. In either case, all is well.

In death of the body, you are healed of life on Earth. In life in the body, you continue within it.  Life in a body on Earth is good. Life in spirit without your body is good. Both are good. And both are yours to experience. You are, regardless, a beautiful soul.

You do not have to be in a place of knowing. Who said you have to be? It is enough I know. Let Me know then for the both of Us, the One of Us.

I understand how illness is a serious matter, how much you would love to be without it, and without thoughts of it. Right now I am going to extract some of the illness from you. You will feel a great easing. What you feel will be true.

Now, when you feel a pain or you have painful thoughts, let My Presence soothe your body and your thoughts.

You are a blessing on Earth, Nancy. I am well-pleased with you. Now I ask you to be more pleased with yourself. Love imperfection as well as perfection.

Remember I take care of your children and your husband, and I take care of you.

Now I would like to tell you another thought. There is no illness. Illness does not exist. There is the illusion of illness. No matter how real-seeming, illness is not. It is a conclusion made by world-mind.

Christ did not see lepers. He did not see illness. Therefore, he healed. He knew the need of healing but knew not of illness. He saw the beauteous light of the person within. He saw so clearly that his clarity healed. His sight was like a laser. His eyes were love. His touch was love.

Now you will love yourself abundantly.

In Truth, there is no cause and effect. And yet, there is love, and there is love that surpasseth all understanding. All healing is of the heart, beloved. The heart heals illusion. It heals what never was anyway.

One may say illness is real and a cause of death. Death of the body is simpler than that. Death means only a change of address. It is not the terrible thing the world says it is. Bless life, and bless death. The body lives as long as it lives.

Your body, beloved, is going to live for a long time. You -- the you of you -- are going to live forever.

You are in My heart, beloved Nancy, always. What is there ever worth worrying about?

God XXX