I'm really continuing about emails and posts. Everything you write is amazing. You give me so much food for thought.
Along this line, when Heavensubscribers are forwarding a Heavenletter™ to a friend, they sometimes do what I often do, and that is press Reply and forget to put in the email address of the person or persons they mean to send it to, and so it doesn't reach the people it was intended for but instead comes to me. I return such emails mistakenly forwarded to me to the senders so they know.
Just yesterday I received one of these. This one had a long personal message. I didn't read all of it, just enough to discover that the message wasn't for me. In the first few lines, the writer was saying that he or she didn't know who was giving the words for Heavenletters, but in her heart, it didn't feel like God.
I respect this. It's hard for me to believe too! I do believe in the Voice, but what's hard for me to grasp is that such golden messages are coming to me. I have to shake my head. How this can happen, I don't know. Often I feel that somehow I'm being taken for someone else, like God is really talking to the person behind me or something, and I only think He's talking to me. That could be embarrassing, yet, meanwhile, I am eavesdropping on what God is saying! I feel that way sometimes, even knowing that God is talking to all of us all the time.
Quite the opposite from the email mistakenly sent to me, there is a recent post on the forum. It appeared under Heavenletter #3101, From the Window of Love:
I don't think I ever read something so perfectly written as this Heavenletter. This afternoon, while I was reading, I was thinking how your relationship must be with the Lord...and how you allow the Lord to use you...and i just felt i should drop a line about how your devotion today touched me deep in my heart and I thought, "Gee, Lord, what things has this person been thru to have such an understanding of You, whatever place she came from..I wish everyone could read this devotion. Your sister, Carolyne
Well, dear Carolyne, what a writer you are, and how deeply you have touched my heart. Your post has made me think along lines I had not gone down before.
My dear, you ask what have I gone through.
I expect I have gone through what all of us have. I have had my times of great unhappiness and also times of great happiness. I muddled my way through life in such ignorance.
Now, like a miracle, I find myself part of Heavenletters. No one could have imagined this. I couldn't have.
I think I can fairly say that I spent most of my life being underestimated. I am guessing that is true of most of us if not all. And now, suddenly, I am being overestimated! Neither under or over is exactly comfortable.
Carolyne, it seems almost like overnight that God became a part of my life. For most of my life, I didn't think about God or anything like that. I was oblivious.
And then I wasn't oblivious any more. It's sort of like, well, suddenly, God tapped me on the head -- or the heart. I am not sure I had anything to do with it. It may be that the time had come, that's all.
When I receive a Heavenletter, I am sort of hearing it subtly. It is much the same as when you read a Heavenletter and you may be surprised and delighted at what God is saying. I am surprised and delighted at what I hear. It is not my knowledge. I am hearing it for the first time. I didn't know all this that God says. I didn't consciously know any of it!
I am not the most ignorant person in the world, and yet I am not very knowledgeable about spiritual matters either. I couldn't think of this wisdom, although it must exist somewhere inside if it's true that the Kingdom of Heaven is within. If that is true -- and it must be -- then the Kingdom of Heaven lies within all of us.
It comes down to this: Anyone can Godwrite™. Anyone. It takes no special anything. I have seen this. I have seen this in Godwriting™ workshops, and I see this in myself every day.
In an earlier posting, Heaven Admin said that God must have chosen me.
I have often wondered about that: Did God choose me, or did I do the choosing?
Maybe God asked, "Will you write down My words?" and I said, "Yes."
Or maybe I asked God, "Will you let me hear Your words? And may I write them down?" And He said, "Yes, go ahead, " in which case you could say I chose myself.
I don't know.
Dear Heavenreaders, do not assume that I live the love and wisdom that God gives us. I try, I mean to, and I too often flunk. I have my share of upset etc. There are times that you would think I never heard or understood a word of what God says.
I do know, when I Godwrite, when my attention is on listening to God, I feel so good and so very close to God. I never want to be without Him, yet, I do go hours and hours in life without thinking of God, without putting my heart next to His. If it weren't for my commitment to Heavenletters, it could just as well be days, weeks, and months before God would have my attention. I am not different from anybody else. I didn't earn the privilege of writing down Heavenletters. I can't say I deserve it either.
I am overwhelmingly glad and grateful that I somehow am doing this. And I am so glad and grateful for the Heaven forum and this Godwriting blog and for the people who post.
If it weren't for Carolyne's post, and if it weren't for you who are here reading what I have written today, I wouldn't be writing this entry. I feel so good writing it, for it brings my heart closer to God and to you.