Gauche

Have you ever been in the presence of a powerful soul you admire, and you want to make a lovely impression? It isn't just that you want to impress  --  you want to  be on the same wave-length and make their time with you well-spent as well. However, it does not seem to work that way, for, in that kind of situation, you keep falling flat on your face. Have you experienced this?

I am in that situation now. 

For those who may be new to the scene, I am traveling in a motor home with Heaven Admin on a European Godwriting™ tour. Heaven Admin is the young man who gives fully of his heart and mind and skills to Heavenletters. I am more than old enough to be his mother, and I learn so much from him. I am in the company of the wise, and I have to tell you that I have never knowingly been such an idiot in my whole life.

If there is something stupid to say, I say it. If there is something I am supposed to do, I forget to do it, or I don't understand in the first place.  If there is a mistake to make, I make it.

As we travel in France today, on our way to Turin, Italy, for the workshop, I am the French word gauche as it is used in English. Gauche in French means left, as in the Left Bank. Gauche in English means awkward.

Apparently, I was gauche before I left U.S. I left my beautiful light shiny coat behind in Fairfield. I left my good skirt behind. I discovered that I only packed one shoe of a pair.

On this trip with Heaven Admin, I stopped saying gauche things for a while because I came down with the worst case of laryngitis in the history of mankind. Nonetheless, that didn't stop me from being clumsy etc.

Heaven Admin is one of the most gracious people in the world. He really does live as God says to. He would have a different story to tell. He doesn't bat an eye at anyone's blunders. He takes all the responsibility of which there is plenty in a motor home. And he takes responsibility for my crossing streets and all. It is like he has ten hands and accomplishes everything quickly and efficiently. It is nothing for him to take care of everything. He is always thinking of others and their comfort and safety.

I am unable to light a cigarette lighter. I have never been able to. I just don't have the knack.Therefore, I am unable to light the stove.

Before I have stopped being groggy-eyed in the morning, Heaven Admin has prepared a hot drink for me.

I brought dollars with me, but never changed them into pounds or Euros. Therefore I am like a child on this trip. Heaven Admin bought me a warm top since I had forgotten my coat. It's not that I have to ask before I can buy anything; it's that Heaven Admin has already thought of it and given it to me.

I haven't given you the whole picture yet. Heaven Admin is wisdom incarnate. I learn so much from him on how to live life and how to serve. His enthusiasm is beautiful to watch. I know you already know that he is incredibly wonderful to me. The thing is he is wonderful to everyone! Intelligent, feet on the ground, he radiates love and acceptance. He has learned acceptance! It is not that he is blind to fault. They just aren't big deals to him. It is not even that he is patient. He just sees needs to fill and wants to fill them, and anything less is immaterial. He just naturally is the Godbeing he is.

Wait until you are lucky enough to meet Heaven Admin. You will know what I mean.

Tomorrow I will give you three specific examples of how utterly gauche I have been on this trip so far: