More Remembrance of Things Past
In an earlier blog entry, I told you about Marcel Proust's madeleine cookie. As an adult, he ate one, and the taste from his childhood let loose what turned into seven volumes of Remembrance of Things Past.
Numbers and dates are definitely not my thing. I don't usually remember them. They are not poetic or charming the way a cookie is or a beautiful blue patent leather jumper, yet this morning's date -- the morning I'm writing this -- March 26 -- brought up a host of memories, bittersweet memories, of the time I lived in San Francisco. March 26 was the birthday of someone who meant a lot to me then and apparently does to this day still, even though we have long been absent from each other's lives.
And yet a whole series of memories flow from today's date, and what is the use of these memories? Why are they here? They only make me sad. I hardly ever remember birthdays, and yet I remember that one. This is ridiculous.
Add to that, I not only remember March 26, I remember March 28, someone else's birthday from when I was still in Massachusetts, and another host of memories push their way in. Why oh why do I remember those dates when there is no use for them? There is no place to even send a birthday card.
God in Heavenletters tells us to get out of the past, and I seem to keep dredging it up.
Someone wise suggested that my broken shoulder was symbolic of my break with the past. I liked that idea, kind of made breaking my shoulder worthwhile!
And yet, here is the past pushing ahead of me, right in front of me, making it so I have to look at it again and again and again. Why do these memories persist? I can't figure out the meaning of them, or if they even have any real meaning. What is there I feel I must resolve and can't just leave alone?
I suppose it's not the memories themselves or even the past that we are to leave behind but really our attachment to it. Oh, to let go of attachment. To be free of it once and for all.
How are you doing, and what sets off your memories?
Comments
Some memories come up now and then, not very often, but if they come up and they are sad, I try to think why sad? I analise the sadness and see the lesson that I had to learn then. Thank you and lets think of nice things like the coming sunset. Or when I wake up, see Mieke's face and the sun shines. I do not like to think of the past as that is gone and live Now is so beautiful The older I get the more beauty I see Thank you God Love you All Jack
This very issue has been the topic of much discussion among several of my friends lately. It seems to be an epidemic! We've concluded, though, that perhaps these old tapes need to played through one last time so they can finally be erased. It feels like we are in a season of renewal, of Spring cleaning. All those old closets and chests and hidey-holes in our minds need airing out. We take out these old memories one at a time, look at them and remember the feelings behind them. Then with a sigh of relief, we put it in the trash bin and let it go.
Gloria just last night I had the memory of my granddaughter come into mind and heart. This memory was brought forth because friend just lost her 7 year old daughter to cancer. The memory of my grand daughter has been changed from saddness/bitterness to happiness. But because I have felt the pain of loosing a child ,I am better prepared to comfort a motherwho has also lost a child. So memories are good if they are used for the good. Even out of the bad memories I look for the good they will brings to others. I have many bad memories of the hard life I walked through, but when I take those memories and help another hurting soul, those memories are used to bring glory to God.And maybe the birthdays you remembered was God just saying lift that persons name up to me. Or maybe call them and let them know you were thinking of them. Memories are good. God is Good and Gloria is good.