Mourning, missing, wishing
February 5 is the anniversary of my father's death. I never forget the date. And I don't seem to be able to let go of my father, most especially when February comes around. My father died sixty years ago, and still I grieve.
On February 3 this year, it is like God saw what I was going through and dictated a Heavenletter™ that addresses the letting go of a loved one. I don't know the date that this Heavenletter will be published -- it's a long way away. I don't know the title yet either. Just so you can know the Heavenletter when you see it, it begins: "Sadness isn't so bad."
And a few more lines:
How can you let go when you don't want to let go and you think you will never be ready to let go?
Was your loved one a wall that you could lean against and that held you up?
You are also on a journey, even when your body stays where it is, even when it is hard for you to turn around and say goodbye.
how can you l
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Just minutes ago, I saw a film on the internet about German clinics that combine state-of-the-art scientific medicine with shamanism, visualization, therapeutic touch etc. The results are more than spectacular with cancer and all kinds of the most serious conditions.
And all of it seems to be about the "wall that you could lean against and that held you up." It is a wall or a hand we must find in ourselves. Once we do, everything will heal, be it physical or emotional. All wounds will turn out to be blessings, prompting us to find the invincible summer within.
Death is your future.
Dear Gloria, isn't the sadness of thinking about a lost one the reflected image of the God you would like to meet in such an intimate contact? Isn't a retrospect image of the forthcoming contact with God in an Holy Instant? Everything is just symbolic on Earth, because reality sits in Heaven. I think that is what God is saying in this upcoming Heavenletter. I will comment further on that.
Beloved Normand, I know that. I know the words, that is.
And then in the Heavenletter written this morning, God said:
"Whatever the occasion, with or without your awareness, all tears that you shed come from a sense of abandonment. Feeling alone is the last thing you want. Alone on the High Seas. Alone in your environment. Alone on your computer. Alone in the world. Alone in your heart... The worst it can really be is that you are alone with Me, and that is not alone at all."
SADNESS. I know not if my thought helps at all, but I have noticed in my life that I have INDULGED in sadness. It feels good sometimes - but who is feeling good? More and more I see it is my ego that keeps alive through holding on to the past. I have been seeking a way to REMOVE these emotional balls of energy that I keep stumbling over, stubbing my toe on, as I go through this life.
Dear Gloria, your Godwriting quotes dig so deep. Remember a recent HL where God said that we don't have to feel "guilty" about one's death or departure? There must be a relationship between love, sense of abandonment, guiltiness and "priviledged" relationships.
Maybe to be alone or to feel abandoned is also to be guilty. When we experience ourself as alone, aren't we denying our Oneness with God? (Of course we do!). That is something to feel guilty of in our imagined self.
Are priviledged or special relationships (human love relationships) real love? When we "choose" consciously or unconciously whom we love, aren't we in the ego's territory? The past is the ego's territory. How can we really love only parts or reality and understand what love means? Don't we use special relationships to support the ego (something you lean against to hold you on). God does not love any one in particular and nobody is special. Everybody is.
You bring something very powerful and challenging in today's blog. Thank you, beloved Gloria.
Hi Gloria, My father, the most beautiful man I ever met, died about 63 years ago. Just lately I come to realise He is in a better position to look after his loved ones than he was on earth specially if he lived He be that old he would not be able to help us nor himself. I speak with him regularly and he helps a lot. Again during the cyclone we just had and the power outage. You and the blog readers and others gave me a lot of help and turned the cyclone slightly south so we were in the least destructive quadrant. Thank you for outting up that protective shield Love you All Jack
Normand, I believe what you said really speaks to the role "ego" plays.
And how many times do we hear of a loved one, laying in a hospital bed, waiting to pass on? What is it that holds them here? When family and friends and very close bonds, pray that they don't die. Is that ego?
And then, as soon as the room is empty of everyone, except God and the person laying in the bed, they pass on.
What is it that we mourn? Our memories? The loss of a hand to hold? A shoulder to lean on?
Jack I am so glad you were spared the brunt of the cyclone. When I saw the destruction while watching the news one night, I thought of you and your wife and family. You are such a positive voice on this blog... always beaming light!
Lynda