One Bead at a Time 2

Because I seem to be only able to deal with one thought at a time, I can only deal with what is right in front of me. And so I'm near-sighted instead of far-sighted.

What I mean is that I write down a Heavenletter every morning. I take care of what comes in. I do my little duties. I do one bead at a time. But because of my operating style -- what Jochen calls mono-tasking -- my vision is pretty much like a microscope. I see close up. That's as far as I seem to be able to see.

I don't seem to think of Heavenletters as a whole and where they're going. I don't think about what we can do to get God's words more out there. I don't think of the future. I don't initiate anything to speak of. I wait for things to happen. I wait for them to come to me.

And they do! I sit here, and Heavenletters and Youtube presentations and Heaven Admin and translators and archivist come in so magnificently. I am just discovering that I am a plodder. I sit here and kind of check things in at the door. I watch what is happening, the way a mother might idly watch her children at the playground. She is taking care of them at the playground but certainly not planning for their college. She isn't even planning for tomorrow.

I am not really finding fault with myself, well, not too much. I'm just looking objectively at how my mind works. I'm just becoming more aware. I am just stating what seems to be. I am not looking for counseling!

Of course, I'm where I'm supposed to be, and what I do does need to be done, and God must have chosen me to do what I do. He isn't bothered by what I don't do. However, it's just sinking in on me how little is my place in the scheme of things. God hit the nail on the head when He said I am His little donkey pulling a cart and delivering His wares. Very simple. I have a small route to cover.

When Heavenletters started, it's not like I knew what I was doing. I had no plans or thoughts for the future. I wasn't following anything but this strong impulse to write down what God says. I never thought of a blog or a forum. Other people thought of them. And other people made them happen. I wasn't thinking of archiving. Annette did. I didn't think of Youtube presentations. Dr. Laura and Marlene did.

I don't think of tomorrow. I know it's supposed to be good to live in the present, yet vast vision is also good, and I don't seem to have any.

Fortunately, Heaven Admin came on the scene, and he is always future-oriented. His vision is naturally vast. I take dictation from God, but I don't really think about Heavenletters on a world scale. While my focus is on short-range bits and pieces, Heaven Admin is always thinking of Heavenletters and how to expand their reach and fulfill God's desire for millions of Heavenreaders.

Well, it's time for me to start my route now.