Sharing

Heaven Admin and Effendi both are examples of people who truly know how to share. The way I see it, they don't have to think about sharing food or love or anything else. Giving is uppermost in their minds. Their first thought is: "What can I do to help here? What is needed here?" And they have no second thoughts.

They may not even think. I am sure that they don't think: "I am going to be generous." They don't have to remind themselves. Giving is simply their way of living. Sharing must be the same as loving. They only know loving, sharing, and serving. "How do I serve God here?" must be the pulse of their heart.

They are the two happiest people I know. This has to be because they are not thinking of themselves. They are not living for themselves. They don't have to shoo their egos away. Their egos are naturally kept at bay because Heaven Admin's and Effendi's thoughts are on serving. Therefore, they are big thinkers who do not think about themselves first or last but rather think on a universal scale.

The other night at the Sufi House when Effendi said: “We do not go to bed with a full stomach and let our neighbor go to bed hungry. We do not keep the biggest piece of cake for ourselves. We do not serve ourselves first,” I squirmed, and I squirmed all evening because that really hit home. Even then I was centered on myself. I, I, I.

Yet, even then, Effendi was speaking on a grander scale. He was thinking of us as individuals, but he was also thinking of poor countries in the world where the parents and children go to bed hungry night after night,  while their neighboring countries are extremely wealthy and everyone there goes to bed with a full stomach and may even have feasted with a golden spoon.

It is the same with Heaven Admin. There is not one time that he is not thinking in terms of the world and what would be good for the world. He thinks beyond himself always. Always the whole of humanity is in his heart and mind.

Here is just one example that comes to mind. Once I told Heaven Admin about Gandharvan music. I told him that just by quietly playing tapes of the music, we become more in tune with nature.

Now, when I first heard of such music, my response clearly was: "I want it."

When I first told Heaven Admin about such music, he said to me: "Wouldn't it be wonderful if every high school student in the world could have a tape of this?"

And this is how Heaven Admin always thinks. Of others.

For a long time, I have kidded myself that I used to be selfish.  I used to be. Believe me, I used to be and, sadly, I still am.

I have been blind, and now I am beginning to see.

I'll tell you more in the next blog entry.