The Big Confrontation

 

Chellie Campbell was influenced by a book that I also read many years ago. At the time, this book didn't have any particular effect on me. If it did, it didn't stick. I can say without equivocation that this lady's five-page article about the book did influence me, and, guess what, I was sorry later. The advice was good. What I didn't grasp was when to apply the advice -- and when not to.

Chellie Campbell was once a musical comedy actress. Before that, she was a bookkeeper. Later she became a full-time speaker, seminar leader, and author.

Her well-written article in You've Got to Read This Book, 55 People Tell the Story of the Book That Changed Their Life, tells about the time when she was a bookkeeper and learned to assert herself.

She had a boss who yelled a lot. When he yelled at her, she went into the bathroom and cried for half an hour. This happened quite often.

Then she came across When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel Smith. She soaked up the chapter on the Bill of Assertive Rights, 10 Statements that help us set healthy boundaries, how to please yourself before pleasing others. It taught her she could say no. 

The next time her boss yelled at her, she did her crying and then went to him and basically told him that every time he yelled at her, she cried in the bathroom, and this was not productive to the company.

Her boss responded that he really liked her and her work, and he was just a person who yelled a lot.

The next time he yelled, Chellie did her crying and went back to him with the same speech.

The third time he yelled at her, she yelled back! And then he stopped!

What a wonderful story!

So, after reading that, I was all primed to assert myself, and I did, and I was sorry after. There are times when we just don't need to assert ourselves. Our convenience isn't so important. Anyway, I had a good lesson from this.

Incidentally, there is a Heavenletter™ written down not long ago in which God tells us this very thing -- we don't always have to assert ourselves.