You know from earlier blog entries, how it's not comfortable when a Heavenreader who does not know me at all and credits me with too much. Heavenletters™ are admittedly wonderful, and I have the blessing of being able to type them up -- that's it. This is an unexpected gift that came to me, and it is for me to step aside and let the One Who deserves the praise receive it. God has said not to over-endow anyone. That is for the sake of the one who over-endows as well as the one over-endowed. I'm wondering if it over-endowing or just too limiting, actually.
If I personally should write a story or a poem, wow, send me the plaudits. Even though it is God Who does everything, I would have put a lot into it and would not then feel like an imposter.
By the same token, however, I do not like it when people see me as nothing at all either, and that does happen. Again, I am referring to people who do not know me, don't know Heavenletters™, and see me as insignificant and so on by virtue of my age, for instance, or status or income or what have you. I love to be appreciated, but neither over-appreciated nor under-appreciated. I want to be seen, me, Gloria, and not a plus or minus picture that isn't of me.
For example, a movie idol is just a good actor who plays good roles. He is just a man or a woman who is good at what he does. He isn't seen for himself. There seems to be a need we have to adore. The thing is, to be adored is often under false colors. That's what's uncomfortable.
Arnand was expressing something of the same the other day. He is Arnand, simple happy fun-loving Arnand. Because he has made a fortune in the world, he is uncomfortable being seen as a rich man and valued as rich man and not seen for himself. Yes, he did good things. Yes, he worked and works hard. Yes, he made money. That is wonderful, but, of course, he doesn't want to be loved because he did this or that. He is much more than his wealth and business sense.
I think I understand through Arnand that we are all more than the sum total of our accomplishments. We want to be known and loved for who we are and not what we've done in the eyes of the world.
Now, as I say that, at the very moment I'm writing this blog entry, there is a knock on my door. I expected it would be Heaven Admin standing before me. It took me a moment to see Arnand standing before me with a cup of hot steaming delicious cocoa and a plate filled with crackers that he buttered with his own hands and heart and made into little cracker sandwiches.
So, yes, after all, I do absolutely appreciate Arnand for what he does , for he acts from his heart. He is a great friend to all, and he, most unexpectedly, made me a hot drink and a snack, and wanted me to have them for the pleasure they would give to me, for me myself and for me as a guest in his home, and the pleasure his giving gave to him. This is the millionaire before he goes to work this morning. I shall forever adore Arnand and his kindness and goodness. By such acts, this is how he is to be known. This is who he is. The man who gives from his heart.
And may, I, someday, be like Arnand and Santhan and express thoughtfulness equal to theirs. What could I do to give happiness to another -- I can't even think of anything. Arnand and Santhan, uncle and nephew, have raised me to greater heights than they can possibly know. They show me some of the choices there are in life. They have opened my eyes to choices before me. In a way, they are like that wonderful hand-carved elephant door that opens up to the top of the deck and its view of the Vast Ocean.