Undivine Love
This morning, Heavenletter #660, Divine Love, somehow popped up on my screen. Very fitting for what I am writing about this morning. "...your heart is perhaps not open to everyone on the planet." That was me all right in the story I tell in this blog entry.
The other evening my daughter and I ate in a Chinese Buffet in Ottumwa. This restaurant is packed all the time. No wonder, it has about fifteen lines of various foods, and it's inexpensive.
When you go in, they seat you,and then you go get your food. We had a booth.
As I was going through the line, there was a girl about sixteen who talked to what must have been her grandfather in a too loud voice, and there was an annoying edge to her voice, and there was no escaping it. I was glad to get away from her voice.
Soon after I got back to the booth with my food, who was sitting at the table next to us but this same girl. When I saw her, I thought, "Oh, no."
So much for this Godwriter's divine love.
Because of her voice, I had sort of condemned her. I wasn't looking forward to hearing more of her voice, and at this buffet, you can hear every word spoken at the table next to you.
The girl looked over at me, and, to my dismay, I felt she knew what I was feeling.
And here's what I learned. She was lovely. She was kind. Her grandfather may have been hard of hearing and may not have had experience in a restaurant, and she had been helping him. Here she was, sixteen or so, and very kind and very grown up and really very quiet. And very appreciative.
It was her birthday, and this was her celebration. Her family had brought in a tiny bought cake and there was a vase with three roses on the table.
I hope she was reading my changed mind when she left.
And then this morning I spotted this Heavenletter about Divine Love:
"One wave of love brings another. One wave of love meets another corresponding wave. Love waves its hand, and somewhere in the universe, there is a wave back.
"You have somehow exerted great effort not to love. You thought you had to pull the reins on your love, that you couldn't allow yourself to splash everywhere, only in proscribed places, only in certain directed paths, as if your love depended on conditions outside you, as if anything but love is relevant to love.
"It is the Divine within you that pours out love. Would you dictate to the Divine how much or when and where?
"...Your mind is like a plug that stops up love. Your mind is thinking and doing and forgets Being. Your mind is an arbitrator when, in love, there is no need for arbitration.
"The last person you saw — you didn't know who they were. You thought they were the picture you drew of them. How little you knew, and how much more you know now. How much more you will retrieve from life now. And how much more you will give to it and all the souls who wend their way along beside you."
This Heavenletter was written in August, 2002. It had to have been written for me.
And yet you would think I had never seen it before.
Comments
I'm so grateful that, like you, I notice when this happens and can almost immediately stop it. By noticing, I mean that my heart feels the result of that way of thinking and it just won't allow it to continue. Just like how you felt on some level, the girl "knew" what you were thinking and immediately switched perspective.
One day we will be completely free of these old habits.
Yet I wonder how many other unnoticed old habits dictate our experience? We could spend lifetimes getting rid of old habits. Clearly the way of seeking Prajnaparamita, The Heart of hearts takes us to the stainless state. In this way, old habits are naturally revealed and removed.
I long for that day, One.
Yes, my irritation stopped, but I can't say that I stopped it. What stopped it was how lovely the girl was, how GOOD really.
Nature must have placed her at the table next to me so I could see her, really see her.
How many "rules" my mind seems to have made, and I don't even know until I come across them.
How I would love that state of Prajnaparamita. Oh, yes, to have God's heart without my stuff stuck in it.
Sometimes it is so hard to look past what we see on the surface. I totally agree with seeking "The Heart of Hearts" to remedy our fleshly ills. The more we can behold God as He is, the more we automatically become like Him. This makes me think that we already are like Him, for redemption has been made, but we begin to live, think, act, and be like God as we recognize Him everywhere and in everyone. The more we see, the better it gets. We begin to see all as His precious creations, One with Him, and know that in our seeing Truth, as He sees, and calling it that way with our mouths, we will indeed be bringing forth God in manifestation everywhere, in everyone.
"Oh, yes, to have God’s heart without my stuff stuck in it."
Dear Gloria,
do we humans, does God really want to have human beings, who do not stumble, as a child does it when she is learning how to walk; human beings, who are able to learn 6 languages without your former profession as a teacher; human beings, who do not have any need or urging or conditions to help out one another?
Could we already 'manage' our co-living and communications and community-establishing with different motivations than the above mentioned?
I suppose, we want to have and to be such beings.
And - are we such beings?
Or, are we 'only' supposed to be such beings?
When the focus is on our possibilities to stumble - we will stumble.
When our focus is on our infiniteness - we will fly there.
And, let us be sure - we are flying and spinning.
Toddlers are flying; flying into the arms of their love, resident in their hearts and outside them as parents - - when they are stumbling. They are the love of their mothers and by flying out they bring love back to their mothers.
Do you rememember your first or second stumbling as an infant? Why would we? We remember the warmth [or not-warmth, if any; and soon we will forget even this not-warmth, because we will see and because we desire to see the parent's desires behind their not-warmth] of our parents where we felt secure during or after any incident. Why would we not?
Why not love stumbling?
Who says that our so called incapabilities are not loveable? Who says that love stops at the beginning of our so called incapabilities, or, let me put it otherwise - at the beginning of our illusions?
Who calls them incapabilities?
Did we never meet a couple or two, who laughed a lot about their weaknesses, flaws, about their seemingly disabled minds or body parts?
Were not those pupils the best ones who undoubtedly and without hesitations helped one another, without any regard to what the neighbour was capable to or not? They were in the flow of their desire, being close to their neighbours. At least, these pupils were peacemakers and a blessing for the class community.
Is anybody really looking for our undivine love, is anybody looking for it by heart? Is God able to see undivine love? If no, what is the difference between God and me?
Are we in the true-born company when we open our frontdoor, leaving for a Chinese Buffet?
We will meet others how we are leaving our homes.
And this conception is good so, a wonderfully created Grand Design, designed for God's purposes and joy.
God does not know wet blankets. It is not even sure whether humans are really knowing them.
Theophil