Why Godwrite? Part One

Subtitle: The Unexpurgated True Account of How Heavenletters Started or How to Dash Any Lingering Illusions about Heavenletters' Chief Godwriter

[Part Two will be subtitled: How Godwriting™ Fortunately Changes Godwriters™]

Now to begin:

Pure Ego, Very Pure

When I started Godwriting™, I didn’t have a strong desire to serve God or anything like that. I was in the Me First Ego Stage of my life, and I wanted to see if I could Godwrite. Just that. I wanted to see if I could do it.

And there’s more:

Margaret, who now proofreads the Heaven ebooks and lends constant support, loaned me a little book called Lui et Moi translated into the English He and I. It was a tiny book. It was simple and enchanting. I remembered that the writer was a nun, and that she lived and wrote in an early century. It’s a long time since I’ve seen the book, but someone recently mentioned it was written in the 1930’s and that the author was not a nun! So much for my memory!

Anyway, each entry was very short. Basically, the author would give the date and location, and she would say, “Jesus, I am not worthy of you." And Jesus would reply, in one way or another, “Yes you are.“

I read that book from cover to cover with great fascination, and yet, when I finished, I said to myself proudly: “Hmph, I can do better than that."

Added motivation for circulating Heavenletters

Later, when Godwriting™ was really happening, and I started sending Heavenletters out to a few friends, and they liked it, I am embarrassed to say that I began to see dollar signs in my eyes! (This was before the Story of the Farmer and the Hat.) I really thought my future was secured.* I rubbed my hands together with glee, added up figures, and started charging for Heavenletters. I stopped, abruptly not too long after, not for altruistic reasons, and not because I had come to my senses, but because record-keeping and notifying people etc. was getting to be too much for me. Impossible for me. No way I could do it. (This was all before Santhan, Adrachin, and Kirt, of course.)

*In truth, my future and fortune were being secured far beyond what I was thinking then. Look how rich I am in friends now. Look at the Friend God has become. Look at the adventure I am embarked on.

Choosing the name Heavenletters™

How did I choose the name Heavenletters? First of all, I was certain that I was not going to use the word God in the name because – can you believe this? -- I wasn’t all that comfortable with the word God! I also saw God as a turn-off for many as well. I wanted to call the newsletter Heaven, but that name was already taken on the web. I kept playing with other names which I don’t remember now and finally chose Heavenletters, not because I thought it was wonderful, but because I couldn’t think of one better!

Reasons why I confess my shoddy past to you:

1. To show beyond a doubt that anyone can Godwrite. Anyone. And irrespective of motive.

2. To show how much it is possible to grow through the process of Godwriting and reading Heavenletters. I am truly not the same person. I have let go of so many boundaries. More to go, but I am hopeful. Different states of consciousness do exist, and I could no more charge for Heavenletters now than I could have, at first, been stopped back then.

3. To show that whatever my conscious motives may have been, God was leading me all the time. He must have been laughing. He knew charging for Heavenletters would never work, but He let me play at it anyway. He knew I would become fully comfortable with using His Name. Did He know the whole story in advance? I have to ask: Was there a Divine Plan all along that somehow, bumbling and stumbling as I was, I was nevertheless following? I didn’t know what I was doing, yet the right thing was happening anyway? Maybe everything is unfolding perfectly, no matter what it looks like to us. For instance, I see now that Heavenletters is the perfect name. Everything with Heaven, despite my ignorance, seems to have been built right. Maybe this is really true for all of us in our lives.

Part Two -- Real reasons to Godwrite coming up!